Guys, do oysters have sex? Or do they make love. But seriously dudes, my google is broken or my fingertips are delicate and I still want to know how they reproduce. I’ve never seen “oyster penis” on any “Bizarre Foods” type of show, so I’m assuming the bebes arrive via stork.
I was facing a giant plate of raw oysters yesterday (with no penises – I checked), a situation I continue to put myself in only to grimace my way through. What other things sound good, but actually aren’t?
- Degree collecting
- Substituting powdered coffee creamer for milk in scrambled eggs or anything else
- Eating raw ginger
- Letting a pug sleep with you on the hammock (cause every time you need to get up, it’s precarious and like Pug Jenga — NOT a pug’s favorite game)
*I wore those candy-cane tights to work yesterday, and of course ran into my boss, his exec assistant, his mother, etc. They each seemed to be having conversation with my tights instead of with me. Just want 2 b me and wear authentic tights.
Dudes, I just ate my morning fatgirl tacos, and guess what:
I don’t feel so good and I’m way tired. Howevs, today I have to write an hour-long lecture on spamdexing or some shit for tomorrow’s class, then do research for Scary Meeting on Friday, and also get in at least 30 minutes of wall-staring. :(
I suppose I will make a list:
Pros: I am tired, I am already in the hammock and my pug is here sleeping so WHY CAN’T I, and also I have a lot of work right now.
Cons: I already had some coffee, I have to wake up early tomorrow so I should rilly not stay up till one tonight, and I have so much fucking work to do today
Clearly, the Pros have it. Why does it seem like someone’s grandma hacked into my blog and created this post. This is like the gayest post ever.
