Do it like this.
So I changed themes over there this morning and started playing with the new random button. Reading those old posts led me to the following conclusion:
Man I am fucking NUTS.
We all know that I don’t exactly “thrive” when forced to do something I don’t want to do. I generally act like a 5-year old in these situations, which is why I spend a lot of time at home. HOWEVS. Last night I tried to make an exception, and all things considered, I give myself a B minus.
Oh wells. I have an extremely hard time concealing my displeasure, to the point where it should be considered a legal retardation or handicap. I was good for about 2 hours, then it started leaking via facial expressions and “funny” [I thought they were funny] comments. YOU CAN’T TAKE ME ANYWHERE.
Filed under: Tony Hawk, embarrassing, intertron, me me me, my oddities, oh fuck, pug, video games
Keyboard: 1 Angela: 0
Oh, where to begin with this shit. Those of you reading my noxious tumbling already know that I recently spilled red wine (from the finest of gas stations) all over my laptop keyboard. I have two degrees in Computer Science and have destroyed two computers in 3 months. HIGH FIVE.
The first one I took out as described here. This latest episode is more embarrassing.
SCENE: I’ve just finished watching “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”, and have decided to pretend that I am a retarded person. ? So I’m sitting cross-legged on the couch, glass of wine on the tray, and I take my left foot in my left hand, and start slapping it spastically against my right leg. Wine glass goes flying, and my keyboard is fucked (I was still optimistic at this point, though).
I tried rinsing it [removed from the machine, obv] and drying it in the sun, to no avail. Decided to try feeding it to my dog, or drop kicking it:
In the end, I bought an “invincible” and “magical” and “rubber” keyboard (USB). You can spill wine on it, roll it up in a ball, and generally hate all over it and everything will be just fine. I have done a demonstration for you below, and I look pretty stupid doing it:
More pics of this mess tomorrow on my tumblr. I post some fucking *bullshit* on that thing, but at a much higher frequency than over here. So if you want to hear about my every fart and indiscretion, or just hear me announce on a regular basis that I am playing Tony Hawk, eating spaghetti and scratching my ass, see there. <3 <3 <3. Cooterheads.
I’m Angela and Jessamin is this one:
Jessamin: man i’m wearing this long sleeved button down shirt right now and i’m totally sweating in it :O
Angela: gross
Angela: I use medicated deodorant
Jessamin: really??
Angela: prescription, bia
Jessamin: do you have a glandular problem angela
Jessamin: do you have a very strong musk
Angela: you apply it at night
Angela: and put saran wrap over your armpits
Angela: and wear a tight shirt
Angela: and I am not shitting you
Angela: you dab the liquid onto your pits,
then put saran wrap on it,
then put on a tight shirt,
then try to sleep as it burns
your pits
then wake up in the morning and itch your pits furiously
then don’t sweat as much!!!
Jessamin: wtffff
Angela: yaaaay!!!!!11
Jessamin: that’s so effing hilarious
: (
Angela: I used to have to do that like 1x a week until like about 4 years ago
: D
Angela: it would be funny if you wore man-slacks and man-dress shirts
every day though
Angela: you should wear big frilly dresses to work
just start showing up like that
with little anklet socks and dress shoes
Jessamin: noooo
Jessamin: who says i don’t come to work like that angela (in a man’s
shirt and pants)
Angela: nobody said
Jessamin: :’(
This blog could sure use some Quality Control. OH WELL.
I continue to wake up every night around 4am, and cannot sleep until exhausting my Embarrassing Moments Reel. There’s a badass new food-maker-machine infomercial out. WATCHED IT. I’ve tried getting up and drinking warm milk twice, and it was delicious yet odd tasting?
Reading is supposed to help, and my version of reading is to peruse gossip sites and also to google “my name + [all things I've ever been associated with]” for any updates or things I can add to my embarrassment reel.
Any tips for sleeping?
Issue of the Day: I wish the grocery people would stop dragging my sponge poof across the checkout counter.
Always, even if I set it on top of a frozen pizza or a tower of pizzas => to suggest that I’d rather they didn’t. I sound like a dick. Sub-Saharan Africa.
Speaking of I’m a dick, anyone watching any primetime shows lately? My list includes:
-Denise Richards: It’s Complicated [It's not.]
-The Next Food Network Star
-Johns Hopkins on abc [my latest fave]
-Living Lohan???????????
-I Love Money on VH1 [It is amazing. See here]
Also, this awesome movie (“Eagle vs. Shark”):
Every time I see this movie title on the guide I’m like “heh heh. HOLES.” This is because I have the mind (and body) of a 14-yr old boy.
Turns out it’s just a PG movie by Disney people who secretly thought it was hilarious to name their movie HOLES.
[Transition, how about accordingly?] Accordingly, I feel weird around men wearing flip-flops with jeans. I’m sure it’s perfectly alright, but I can’t help but to STARE at the man-feet and it embarrasses us both. -C.F. Oddity #5RZ
JC would be in trouble……While Prince would not (he decided to wear socks?):
Omg, have you seen these “topless sandals”? They stick to your feet! And make you look like a douchebag! “It’s very magical”, according to their website.
It is abundantly clear from the absurdity of this post that I have a lot of work to do today. Papers to read and programs to write. Hope you all have a non-shitty weekend. Maybe I’ll splash around in the kiddie pool for Memorial Day or whatever once I finish this work <3 Stay safe, McTwattersons!
