Hope you’re doing well and that business is booming.
May I ask you something?
Why is LL Cool J on my tv screen? AGAIN? We have been through this. Please fire somebody immediately.
<3,
Ang
Remember that stupid-ass “Guess how many loads of laundry my fucking room has” contest I subjected you guys to? Well, commenter “Blacknapkin” (he has several other aliases, such as: Reverened Twatking, Lord and Lady Twatkin, etc. lol cause is he a fucking NUT and I just love him so much) — anyway, that was a hell of a bad sentence, so I’ll just say that “Black Napkin” won in an email submission.
He actually lives in UK, but I ordred the “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” dvd from amazon.co.uk and he and his family fucking loved it. Which makes me soooo happy, bc I’ve probably seen it about 50 times myself.
Anyway, here are pics here very kindly snapped of him receiving the movie in the mail. Contragulations my darling BlackNapkin!
For everyone else, I know I haven’t been blogging lately, or like fucking AT ALL, since school started. That’ll change, probably post again today. Teaching an actual programming class is harder than teaching a “Microsoft Word applications” class, but it’s actually really fun, dare I shat it maybe even rules? Cray, right.
Filed under: farts, hammock, intertron, me me me, movies, oh fuck, teaching, what a dick, working
I know I don’t have to explain this to you, because I am clearly one of the better Camera Artists of Our Time and you guys appreciate art. I can tell. But this piece, which I was moved to capture this morning, is entitled “Loneliness” because OBVS, just look at it, and also cause every joy has been sucked out of my life since I am also the Stupidest Decision Maker of Our Time.
Agenda for the first day of the rest of my life:
- Download more music because I am a moron who throws computers around and doesn’t back up her shit
- resolve my love/bored/confused relationship with Yo La Tengo, Bloc Party and Broken Social Scene
- figure out how to get Pandora to work WITH me and not AGAINST me (just cause I marked that I liked a song doesn’t mean I’m OBSESSED with it)
- Write an exam for the class test tomorrow
- Respond to 50 intermittent emails about why students can’t make the exam tomorrow due to recent bodily harm
- Thrash around on the hammock and complain for 30 minutes before I start my research (for MEETING tomorrow, h8 meetings 4 lyfe just everyone leave me alone)
This blog could sure use some Quality Control. OH WELL.
I continue to wake up every night around 4am, and cannot sleep until exhausting my Embarrassing Moments Reel. There’s a badass new food-maker-machine infomercial out. WATCHED IT. I’ve tried getting up and drinking warm milk twice, and it was delicious yet odd tasting?
Reading is supposed to help, and my version of reading is to peruse gossip sites and also to google “my name + [all things I've ever been associated with]” for any updates or things I can add to my embarrassment reel.
Any tips for sleeping?
Issue of the Day: I wish the grocery people would stop dragging my sponge poof across the checkout counter.
Always, even if I set it on top of a frozen pizza or a tower of pizzas => to suggest that I’d rather they didn’t. I sound like a dick. Sub-Saharan Africa.
Speaking of I’m a dick, anyone watching any primetime shows lately? My list includes:
-Denise Richards: It’s Complicated [It's not.]
-The Next Food Network Star
-Johns Hopkins on abc [my latest fave]
-Living Lohan???????????
-I Love Money on VH1 [It is amazing. See here]
Also, this awesome movie (“Eagle vs. Shark”):
Filed under: bleeding, eating food, fashion, me me me, movies, oh fuck, old people, working
Drugstore-Pharmacy parking lots. Am I right, people? I normally like the elderly, BUT NOT WHEN I AM ON MY PERIOD.
I could tell you about my latest job prospects, but more important that I share the latest in NECKLACES THAT I NEED:
They call this the “popsicle” necklace. Do you know why? I don’t. I’ve never encountered a popsicle with sprinkles, so I have decided it is a delicious ice cream bar.
As I am currently living off of my savings = “ha! ha! ha!”, this one has been added, along with the others, to failnecklaces.com/chipmunkfart.
Okay twatlettes you know I wouldn’t leave you without a gratuitous shot of ME ME ME. I can be found in this position for most of the day now because UNEMPLOYMENT RULES.
The jobs I’m looking at are Rescue Coordinator for the city pound (they’re trying to go “no-kill” by 2012, they currently kill shitloads every day), and “Make-a-Wish” Foundation Program Director. These have zero to do with my Computah School background, but I’m applying anyway. I’m just happy knowing someone out there is reading my application and laughing at me.
ME THEN………………………..ME NOW:
MOVING RIGHT ALONG, today’s viewing assignment is below. If you bore easily or you’re running late for something or you don’t care about me, skip to the 0:27 mark. It’s a documentary about high school debate teams who act insane.
I wonder if that screaming blonde chick is embarrassed. I would be. But she’s probably not unemployed like me. She’s probably screaming at someone somewhere.
Okay that’s enough. It is now TACO TIME.
I’m watching “Reality Bites” for the second time in as many nights. Because I am OLD.
A chipmunk farts narcissistic sometimes and especially on Father’s Day. Ate 200-too-many scrimps tonight. I have barfed up a collage:
You will be horrified to know that I have seen “Devil Wears Prada” at least 5 times in the past week alone. The ending [entire movie] is pretty sills but I am a chick, complete with chick parts, and am therefore hypnotized and powerless to this movie.
I went out last night and ate Mexican food, which has already appeared on my thighs.
After, I drank scotch rocks most of the night because I have turned into a dude. Or a 50-year-old divorced lawyer.
Ate Shineese this morning to cure my gnarls barkley of a hangover:
Also, did an hour of pilates yesterday after a decade of inactivity, and EVERYTHING HURTS.
Filed under: fashion, me me me, movies, oh fuck, she-celebs, video games, working
I know she’s super busy getting munched on by Samantha Ronson. But someone [me] who is currently jobless watched “Mean Girls” last night (because life is meaningless and we are all going to DIE) and have you ever seen her sing and dance the “Jingle Bell Rock”?
I was looking online at necklaces today so I wouldn’t have to look for a job, and I found a rilly inspiring one: 
And also one that more accurately portrays my current feelings:
Juuust kidding, I’m not so Eeyore, being unemployed rules. I do need to get a job though, maybe I’ll apply to teach CS at the community college.
So I have some new games (it’s a PS2 and do not you laugh at me):
-Jak 3, GAYEST game of GAYNESS but I’m still playing it
-Gran Turismo 4 and I suck at it cause it’s fucking hard
-Grand Theft Auto and I’ve never played it.
Going to make a pizza soon, play more video games (brought both tv’s in the living room => so much awsum) and try to ignore the bottle of wine on top of the fridge 
