- The sound of the drawer opening. Obligatory protestation. The sound of the condom being torn open.
- The thoughts going through your head those 5 seconds. Laying, waiting, thinking…
- Want someone to cut the crust off my sandwiches for me. #affection
- Don’t dip your pen in the vet office ink. Cause you have to go back to there on the regular, and especially when your cat has chemo. [Ed. Note: That's not him.]
- Egg whites. Running. Spaghetti noodles w/Velveeta and Rotel.
- I wonder who will be the next boy to love me? Luke Wilson? Gabriel Delahaye?
Hope you’re doing well and that business is booming.
May I ask you something?
Why is LL Cool J on my tv screen? AGAIN? We have been through this. Please fire somebody immediately.
<3,
Ang
Should people who currently major in Women’s Studies be shot?
(JUST KIDDING, okay)
Did Matthew Broderick cheat on Sar Jess Park?
Cool:
Not Cool:
Will I ever take my Christmas Tree down? 5/7/2009: Still up.
Did I just commission someone to custom-make me these shoes? Should I be shot?
Filed under: he-celebs
Come out please.
There’s my chippy.
If you want the password for the post right below this one, just email me at halfassitude@gmail.com and I’ll give it to you. I don’t care who you are, as long as you’re not my grandma. So even if you’re a stranger, feel free to ask for the password. I promise it will be anticlimactic.
Dear Tony: I have a few questions. My D.O.B. is 3-19-63. Have I lived before? Was I a wicked person in my past life? Is that why everything is upside down now? — Nina A.
Dear Nina: Yes and no. — Tony Leggett
HHAAHAHAHA. Give this man some more money. He is the best at psychic healing. Nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest.
So he got dropped from Kellog. Who fucking cares.
I AM GETTING CROTCHETY AND OLD. I don’t think I used to bitch so much about everything. Isn’t this what really old people do?
So I tried not to look at this while I ate my dinner last night:
I’m not really into tentacles. At all. Would you describe something as “tenticular”, “betentacled”, or “awash with tentacle”?
Filed under: The Lord, dunnoes, embarrassing, he-celebs, old people, people I would sleep with
I have. 
Not pretty.
Filed under: he-celebs, oh fuck, old people, politics, she-celebs, tv, what a dick, working
I am so freaking P.O.’d about this. I know I expressed great regret over the last presidential debate-drinking game, but events of tonight’s caliber only come around once or twice in ever. UnFORTUNATELY, I have my weekly Meeting of Death tomorrow morning, and predict that I’ll be working late into the night.
This insanely awesome show will be on in the background, but I won’t be able to experience the event as fully or deeply as the rest of the nation, which no doubt will be engaged in some drinking game. Unless I will, in which case I’ll formulate and post the rules as we go on my tumblr: http://halfassitude.tumblr.com/
Every time I see this movie title on the guide I’m like “heh heh. HOLES.” This is because I have the mind (and body) of a 14-yr old boy.
Turns out it’s just a PG movie by Disney people who secretly thought it was hilarious to name their movie HOLES.
[Transition, how about accordingly?] Accordingly, I feel weird around men wearing flip-flops with jeans. I’m sure it’s perfectly alright, but I can’t help but to STARE at the man-feet and it embarrasses us both. -C.F. Oddity #5RZ
JC would be in trouble……While Prince would not (he decided to wear socks?):
Omg, have you seen these “topless sandals”? They stick to your feet! And make you look like a douchebag! “It’s very magical”, according to their website.
It is abundantly clear from the absurdity of this post that I have a lot of work to do today. Papers to read and programs to write. Hope you all have a non-shitty weekend. Maybe I’ll splash around in the kiddie pool for Memorial Day or whatever once I finish this work <3 Stay safe, McTwattersons!
Okay, so this one may not be entirely true. FSJ is a definite go, and PSH is a definite prob if I watched a marathon of Punch Drunk Love, Along Came Polly, Almost Famous, Love Liza, Magnolia and The Savages. IN THAT ORDER.
But I sure could hang out with Jase if he would act all whiny and good-intentioned, with his trademark “enh enh” frustration.
He would have to do something about this hairdo he insists upon. And the Shopgirl role grossed me a little.
But aside from that, THIS ruled:
It is how I wake up every morning “motherfucking cock sucker motherfucking shitFUCKER what am I doing. What am I doing. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m doing the best that I can. I know that’s all I can ask of myself.” Except that I’m usually not doing the *best* that I can, and I also have a very different poem at the end. Maybe I will share it with you later. You all like reading other people’s poetry, right???
He was also quite funny in the 5 seconds I saw of “Bewitched” (this movie is an ABOMINATION).
In conclusion, Jason Schwartzman is on thin ice regarding my special list. It is meant to include the non-obvious, but for some reason I am torn. Apparently not torn enough to refrain from typing up a blog post about it when I should be preparing for my Very Important Meeting tomorrow morning.
