Filed under: bored, chillin today, denver, eating food, intertron, me me me, oh fuck, trips, working
ASSHOLE ALERT: Whenever I see before me a tiny plate of over-priced food, e.g. GOAT CHEESE BALLS (referring to the shape and not the testicles), I am reminded that I am an ass. From my “Denver: Weight Gain 2000″ trip:
These were voted Denver’s “#1 Fried Cheese”. I vote them “Tasted Like Asshole”.
I thought I loved ANYTHING cheese. But as it turns out, I only like lower-middle class cheese, such as brie, extra-sharp cheddar (getting fancy), and I dunno, gorgonzola? This isn’t the first time I’ve tangled with the goat cheese. It just sounds good at the restaurant (what? it does to me), but then I order it and become very sad when I have to eat it.
Hey my paper was submitted! Go team! It is here [edit: email me if you want the link, as if you want the link] but you have to download it (suck), and believe me it is FASCINATING. If it’s accepted, I can go to the conference in San Fransisco and order more goat balls!
So I fucking. did it. again. with the laptop. Practically threw it on the ground this time, and it is fucked. Third laptop I have taken out in 4 months. NOT KIDDING (see here and here). Thankfully, I am borrowing one from school. Next time I buy one, I will store valued and irreplaceable data on it, then just shoot it directly in the face with a gun.
She’s still pissed about the whole “Denver” thing.
For the entire trip, she was all, “Denver can suck it, MOM. Thx a lot go buy me an Egg McMuffin.” Which I of course DID, because pugs are very emo in the first place, and also she refused to eat her dog food for days.
You can see her enjoying the Egg McMuffinous fruits of her petulance in the following “A Pug in Denver” montage:
This hotel connection is pure shit. At least there is one, right? The internets are half full.
Watching Family Guy, drinking a Miller Lite and grossing out on my dog’s tourist-food-farts [she refuses to eat her dog food right now, so she gets half of my Huevos Rancheros from the restaurant next door]. There’s actually a “lobster mac n chee” at some steakhouse that I’m going to eat the shit out of on Wednesday night. I sound like such a d-bag.
Filed under: denver, embarrassing, fashion, intertron, me me me, oh fuck, pug, trips, working
I’m giving an epic hour-long presentation tomorrow on some shit I know nothing about. So I’m looking forward to that.
Hey guys every time I buy a dress from Modcloth, they feel the need to throw in the weirdest of shit. Such as:
That is clearly a bear with a tape measure coming out of its mouth. Last time, the bonus was a giant pterodactyl necklace. Fuckin awesome?
Anyway, I’m driving to Denver tomorrow with the PUG after my public humiliation is over (the presentation, remember?). I’ll be cooped up in a motel most of the week with puggleton, so I’ll be making videos with the intent of majorly freaking you out.
I’m also being pressured to go White Water Rafting, and anyone who knows me knows that I do not like White Water, Rafting, or Being Outside. So you can expect some pics of me looking really pissed and wet.
