There are certain things about my ex that I miss, and most all of them deal with administrivia, aka changing light bulbs and MAKING ME THE FUD. He made dinner every night because he’s a little girl, but we’ve been friendly lately so I feel bad about ragging on him for being such a LITTLE GIRL. Anyway, I’m learning how to cook!
Recipe for boiled chicken:
1) Buy a chicken
2) Defrost it, try to get it all defrosted (even in the center), or you get AIDS
3) Boil it until you’re like, so sure that’s it’s cooked that it’s like really dry
4) Put ketchup on it
5) SWEET BERRY WINE. “Because I SIT WITH IT”
- me: I feel fat from last night
- w/the pizza incident
- Jessamin: i wish i was super lifted
- me: come over
- Jessamin: that’s ridic
- me: you’re ridic
- Jessamin: i’m totes chattng w/ you in a weekly meeting
- me: hahahahaa
- Jessamin: i mean i’m in a meeting
- me: great job
- no I get it Jessmina
- Jesmmina Louise
- how are things?
- me: I SAID HOW THE FUCK ARE THINGS
- Jessamin: fuck you angela i’m trying to chat surreptitiously
- me: o. k then. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
- hey I’m gonna go to the kitchen and start breaking plates now, brb
- Jessamin: ok
- there are 4 peeps here and they can all totes see i’m on gmail, chatting
- howtf can you eat a whole pizza
- me: like they say in Miami don’t stop get it get it
- I don’t know what happened to me
- I EVEN CALLED THEM AND MADE THEM COME BACK AND BRING ME MORE GARLIC BUTTER SAUCE
- Jessamin: i think you might inspire me to go back to school
- me: dude
- pls don’t.
- I am soooo fucking mis with that shit
- and we’re gonna be steady bitching with each other
- and the PPL
- the fucking PPL
- we have had many a convo about this, when one of his been in and the other out, and vice versa, but why are you considering it cause I fucking hate my life
- Jessamin: haha
- me:
- Jessamin: thanks for talking me off the ledge
- me: I luv you is why I say this
- get the FUCK off that damn ledge
- <3
- me: I’m going to get laid tonight, Jessamin.
It’s a collection of figurines that are up for like, sale, called “Forever in Blue Jeans”. Who would collect this? This is insane.
And they were all, Hey! Let’s put Magic Johnson in a commercial! So everyone can associate our refrigerators and couches with AIDS!
So I might go to a different titty bar to waitress (walked out on other place last Sunday). Because not learning from my mistakes is my favorite. I’m not entirely sure I’m even going to take a third job anymore. Maybe bank teller. Any ideas? *sigh* I know you guys are gonna be dicks, lol. Don’t disappoint me. :)
First of all, I for real got an email from a student today with the subject line, “HORSEBACK RIDING”.
K, it’s related to an assignment, barely, and in a way that you don’t need to understand, but fuck that was weird. I’m still not sure if it’s more “lol” or “fml”.
Also, there’s this, from “funny likes on facebook” (forget who to credit this for, @GoodWhiteman maybe [Edit: it was @adamontherun, and the correct sn is @WhiteGoodman, anyway]):
This is for real my fucking playlist right now: http://blip.fm/profile/angelakdean/playlist. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT. It’s like, I’m a chick, or something. I know that most of you guys are male, but I also know that most of you work 9-5 and use headphones at work, and you can just thank me later for making you feel like a 12-yr old who just got her first period. And yes, Taylor Swift is present. And not because of my husby Kanye and his latest Kanye-Being-Kanye, it’s cause I DO WHAT I WANT.
So, I hate being a cocktail waitress most of the time, and especially when I have to deal with drunk guys trying to touch my hands (I fuuucking hate that (not from guys in gen, just from guys at the titty bar when I’m fucking hustlin’ and I’d probably be happier selling used cars)) and godknowswhatelse they try to swipe at. This right here for my cat’s chemo is why it *was* worth it, but I’m getting fucking sick of that environment. I need to find a diff job that pays on the quick and doesn’t involve old guys with hella alcohol breff trying to grab my ass.
I was told that I could actually embed this vid into wordpress, but either Dailymotion.com is a liar, or they take a while and it’ll show up like 3 times tomorrow. http://www.dailymotion.com/relevance/search/mazzy/video/x67um_jesus-mary-chain-sometimes-always_music. It was my favorite thing evar like 50 years ago. [EDIT: Yep, 12 hours later, they all show up. I left one below so you don't have to click.]
My friend showed this to me, and you’re going to click on it and listen to it. This is no music blog, it’s a me-being-a-little-dickhead blog, but this song is my picnics and sunshine.
Oh yeah and informed my ex via email that “”You are like the sherriff, mayor and comptroller of Douche City, TX.” I won’t get into details, but he took shit far. Too far. Men. Am I right? Oh wait, it’s a snausage fest around here, maybe a couple of my girlz will represent.
Look, I don’t know what this TwitterMoms.com is, and I don’t want to, either. But how is pot the new pilates? I can guess that they’re saying, Moms, stop doing pilates and just smoke pot. So whatever. If you twatsprinks wanna look into it, keep us updated because I can’t bring myself to go to that website. It sounds horrible.
So I was misbehaving at work the other day (duh), and got like mega intoxicated because of an old hispanic man who kept pouring Goldshlagger down my throat. I supposedly was thinking, “Good I’m really making this place of business a nice profit”, or maybe I was thinking “Goldshlagger! Cool!” Anyway, my mid-level manager saved me from the GM, who wanted to fire my ass. I just have to take “fake shots” from now on that are like koolaid and shit, but the customers think I’m steady drinkin’.
Not drinking there is for the best, anyway, I have to drive home really late at night and do we all remember my little “incident”? I’m both Azn and a Woman, so I’ve already got two strikes against me with the whole “driving” thing. Also, I’m not really feelin’ the club enviornment lately, hope I can stop doing this soon. For now, the money is good and I’m just happy that I didn’t get my dumbass fired. Yet.
[Edit: from the comments section by @fartknocker or @fartboner or something, try this http://lmgtfy.com/ and do an actual query, it made me rofl till I vommed. "rofltiv"?]
I have renamed this vid “FML”. And no, that is not me. What’s really funny is that I referenced my own little “incident”, as does she and I hadn’t even seen the vid yet. Again, FML.
Hope you’re doing well and that business is booming.
May I ask you something?
Why is LL Cool J on my tv screen? AGAIN? We have been through this. Please fire somebody immediately.
<3,
Ang
1) I will run into one of my students. Fuck that.
2) Having to carry a heavy tray of drinks while wearing heels.
3) Consequently spilling beer on a ‘patron’ or whatever.
4) What if I get grossed?
5) Well, they’re not allowed to hug me unless they tip me $300. I wish that I were kidding. The interviewing manager instructed me on this.
I have to wear BLACK SLACKS, I don’t get it, but whatever. Why can’t I this?:
Okay, the one on the right is too extreme, but the one on the left is better than black fucking slacks. I stuffed the fuck out of my bra for the interview, and I haven’t put up recent pics lately, but I lost about 10 elbows since then and I’m just going to stuff my fucking bra.
