Jobs that would suck harder than mine
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*Gynecologist (Seems like all fun and games until you really think about the general population, or “genpop” if you used to watch Oz on HBO)
*Dog pound euthanizer
*Programmer (JK JK I’m probs gonna be doing that in 2 months, so future employers, know that I am kidding (I am not kidding))
Alright, your turn. Go nuts. I’m just freshly living alone, staring at the walls and watching chick movies, so prease to amuse me, guys. I’m so bored I even did all of my work WTF.
Also, I took comment approval off, I don’t think my ex is gonna be a dick about it. BUT WE SHALL SEE, WON’T WE.
44 Comments so far
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Guy who tests polio vaccine on children
Sex toy prototype tester (could be very bad or very good)
Any sort of tester, really!
Comment by Sam July 13, 2009 @ 4:54 pmSex toy prototype tester I think wins (depending on who you are I guess)
“Guy who tests polio vaccine on children” how did that fall out out of yo brain who thinks of polio?
I think I disagree with any sort of tester, cause if you were like a perfume or beverage tester, or ice cream tester (which they have you know), it might not be so bad.
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 4:57 pmYour avatar looks really stoned, btw
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 4:57 pmAmbitious politician’s spouse
Gravedigger
Solid Waste Management Technician
Child soldier
Comment by Eric July 13, 2009 @ 5:24 pm@Eric good work. All of it. Except the gravedigging, unless you’re like in the mafia and digging your own grave with a gun to your head.
Child soldier is #1 so far.
Ambitious politician’s spouse is not far behind. I’d rather technically manage solid waste than be the spouse in that sitch.
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 5:26 pmSlug Wrangler
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 13, 2009 @ 5:39 pmBeaver Milker (“Mmmm…. beaver milk”)
“Euphemism Coiner”
Your Mom
Hah! Damn, I’m good.
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 13, 2009 @ 5:42 pmOoooooh, you want to take it there. Well I fucking took it there last night, Twatty. Shit was good, you know that.
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 5:46 pmSnake Walker
Mime Whisperer
Tick Sorter
I’m on a roll baby!
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 13, 2009 @ 6:07 pmRush Limbaugh’s personal assistant
Glenn Beck’s personal assistant
Ann Coulter’s personal assistant
I think you see what I’m doing here.
Comment by Eric July 13, 2009 @ 6:17 pm•Suicide/Trauma scene Clean Up teams..
eeeeer??
•Door to Door salesman/call center operative *fuck that!!!.. not in this lifetime!!*
•an aging hooker.. *well at least you wont have to get out of bed to go to work!!*
•Janitor in a porn theatre..
•Exorcist (Imagine doing that everyday! …ffs!)
•any job where politics and hatred ruled the company books, ..the worst thing is to be under the thumb of a small-minded boss… fuck that!!
Comment by Saint Napkin July 13, 2009 @ 6:56 pm@Eric you are correct. I see what you are doing here and I like it.
@Twatty: Tick sorter? Is that like where they take the baby chicks in bulk and decide on a whim if they’re boy or girl?
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 6:56 pm@Napkin always takin’ the cake
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 6:56 pmFuneral Singer
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 13, 2009 @ 7:03 pmStar Trek Convention Photographer
Salt Lake City Showgirl
Guy who pushes the button that shoots the air into the heads of cows
Kitten decapitator (it’s gotta be a job somewhere!)
guy who cleans inside of volcanoes
Comment by Sam July 13, 2009 @ 7:03 pmI wrote some comments but they’re not showing up. I have 2 degrees in CS and I can’t figurr out wordpress.
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 7:08 pmLol I put them in the wrong post I’m a dumbass.
Here:
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 7:09 pmDUDES. Funeral singer and cat decapitator? TOO FAR. Jk. That’s what this is about. Now we’re talking.
And here:
Although I don’t think kitten decapitator is an actual thing, except for potential serial killer 14 yr olds.
And thank you so much, Saint Nap <3333
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 7:10 pmJon Bon Jovi
dog food scientist
HAL 9000
Comment by Sam July 13, 2009 @ 7:11 pmJon Bon Jovi for the win. I don’t know if that can be beat.
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 7:26 pmSausage Inspector
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 13, 2009 @ 7:29 pmWilliam Shatner > Jon Bon Jovi
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 13, 2009 @ 7:30 pmFishmonger. Srsly, have you ever monged a fish?
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 13, 2009 @ 7:33 pmBanjo Ensemble Conductor
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 13, 2009 @ 7:35 pmWilliam Shat > Jon Bon in what way
Comment by halfassitude July 13, 2009 @ 7:46 pmIn every way.
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 13, 2009 @ 8:18 pmHmm, let’s see what I can come up with as far as contenders. Being the Shat would be awesome every minute of every day, btw.
–Shaunda Sands’ boobs
Comment by Eric July 13, 2009 @ 10:35 pm–Pamela Anderson’s boobs
–Lindsay Lohan’s vagina the day before she dies
–The inevitable offspring of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag that they pop out to shore up their shrinking mentions in the “celeb” news.
“Sausage Inspector”
(I want that job ffs!)
LMFAO!!!
my wife works in sexual health.. I think Sausage Inspector would make a great job title for her …
“Srsly, have you ever monged a fish?”
Comment by Twatkin July 14, 2009 @ 4:25 am..normally right after shampooing my goldfish Twatty
Sister Halfass <3333
Comment by Twatkin July 14, 2009 @ 4:27 amI agree with HA on the testing part. Some testing jobs would rule. I would personnaly love to be a Porsche test driver.
Job that would suck:
Comment by Robert July 14, 2009 @ 6:53 amThe dude that follows horses in parades with a big pooper scooper
I have monged one fish. I am an honest person.
Comment by halfassitude July 14, 2009 @ 7:25 amSorry, I must admit my ignorance and ask what does it mean to mong a fish?
Comment by Robert July 14, 2009 @ 7:38 amI don’t know but I’ve only done it once.
Comment by halfassitude July 14, 2009 @ 7:40 am..cheesy?
Comment by Twatkin July 14, 2009 @ 10:18 am??????????? no, fishy!
Comment by halfassitude July 14, 2009 @ 10:19 amFelcher.
Fart feeler (not sure if it’s an actual job, but it doesn’t sound pleasant).
The guy who has to fit people for their merkins.
Dave Matthews (or any member of the Dave Matthews Band).
Comment by WhiteGoodman July 14, 2009 @ 3:27 pmYoga Instructor for Quadriplegics
Comment by Twatty MacTwatterson July 14, 2009 @ 3:44 pmMelon Baller
Melon Baller? Fart Feeler? You guys have met and exceeded expectation. Brava, bitches.
Comment by halfassitude July 14, 2009 @ 7:10 pmis it weird that i like that picture? lol
Comment by thejeneffect July 15, 2009 @ 4:48 pmYes. But it’s okay; so do I
we has teh issues lol
Comment by halfassitude July 15, 2009 @ 4:51 pmI was a garbage man one summer in college, it was surprisingly not too horrific. I was paid pretty well, got a great tan, and probably was in the best shape of my life.
Comment by Deezey July 16, 2009 @ 7:06 amAnd I dated a girl whose father was a gynecologist. He would often speak of sexual matters concerning her and I in a rather embarrassing matter-of-fact manner, sometimes at the dinner table. He would also get red wine drunk and tell me some truly disturbing stories about his profession. Like you know that urban myth about the woman that pleasured herself with a hot dog and part of it broke off, and she couldn’t get it out? Yeah, that’s not just an urban myth.
..to continue on this theme of inserting ‘foreign objects into orifice’s’… years ago my best m8 Lusean discovered he had a g-spot up his own arse!! ffs!.. the objects of desire were:
and.. he claimed it made him climax 10 times harder!
a soap cock!!
a hairbrush (his sisters)
a torch!..
he moved on to religious figures like a small statue of the holy mother Mary!’ (btw his family were all catholics which made it even more erotic for him!)
..later he got into cartoon characters (or they got into him I should say hehehe ffs!)
ohh and he wasnt gay ..he was just very experimental
I like the new direction this topic has taken
Comment by Saint Napkin July 17, 2009 @ 4:22 am@Deezey haven’t heard from you in forev! “Red-wine drunk” is my fav new term
@Nap I email you soon
I’m out of town guys brb!
Comment by halfassitude July 17, 2009 @ 9:14 amVacation?? Hope you have a great trip wherever it is!
Deezey has a cool looking green pizza icon.
Comment by Robert July 17, 2009 @ 11:31 am