Filed under: Uncategorized
Perhaps I’m being overly dramatic. But – but just look:
That’s my mom piggin out on the chicken [SO MANY FLIES GROSS] and wearing that ridiculous hat.
The sitting in a chair part was good, and the getting waist deep in the snake-infested (I decided) water was kind of fun. Not so much the algae rocks and the fish rubbing their scaley scales against my legs. I’m so glad I brought pugs, she hates this shit too, so we keep each other company:
In other news, I taught the class of 5 million (98) students today. Couldn’t sleep last night cause of nerves, I guess. I almost got out of bed and wrote an opus on this blog at around 4am, but instead decided to lay there and think of horror movies that scare the crap out of me (WHY). That’s an even worse version of the embarrassing moments reel. [FACTOID: I am not allowed to watch scary movies. Not ever. They haunt me for all of my days.]
The students were cool, SO YOUNG! I think most of them are freshmen. They refuse to speak during class. I’m all, “Sooo, who here has a facebook”? *crickets* “How about a myspace?” *crickets and condescending looks* I thought I was young enough to be cool with the kids nowadays, WRONG. Lol. We have a class blog that they’re contributing to, it’s adorable and I love it.
So the only insomnia advice I’ve gotten from you people, because you OBVIOUSLY don’t care about me, is to exercise. Any other suggestions? I tried the warm milk, and I’ve determined that its only purpose is to taste good. Help please.
Also, if you leave a comment, wordpress makes a little bug man for you based on your email address. They’re really cute, so write a “hello” comment and look at your little bug. OR DON’T, WHATEVER. Twattersons. <3
P.S. I just bought some/am now in love with brightly colored tights. More on this fascinating development tomorrow.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I’ll post some vid of the gnarls lake trip tomorrow. I wish I had had the camera when my pug was trying to rescue me from the water. That was hilarious.
ANYWAY: I’ll post after my class and tell you how it went. There are 98 people in it omg. I’m wearing my schoolteacher outfit tomorrow lol.
She’s still pissed about the whole “Denver” thing.
For the entire trip, she was all, “Denver can suck it, MOM. Thx a lot go buy me an Egg McMuffin.” Which I of course DID, because pugs are very emo in the first place, and also she refused to eat her dog food for days.
You can see her enjoying the Egg McMuffinous fruits of her petulance in the following “A Pug in Denver” montage:
Filed under: embarrassing, farts, fashion, me me me, oh fuck, she-celebs, teaching, tv, working
Go ahead, ask me. I’ve been unable to sleep since 6AM and I have a tv in my bedroom, so I know what I’m talking about here. And DO NOT get me started on the FREE and BONUS Dial-O-Matic food slicer. It will cut up your food SO HARDCORE.
1)
2) 
Onwards and upwards, we’ll now discuss some of the more exotic and curious and, one might say, fucking ugly selections from some of my favorite sites. Why: Because it’s butass early for me to be awake, and I’m not doing anything else except watching that “Sex and the City” episode where Carrie cuts a fart in front of Mr. Big. So here we go:
Interesting. From the front, maybe okay, and especially if one is Wonder Woman and needs an updated pair of booties.
And now:
These, these… Fancy! This looks like a good running outfit.
Well I’ve been known to put together some rather fug fugliness myself, what with the confusing shorts [click for maximum confusion] and the so much pink:
I’m nervous about the teaching job. It’s not final until tomorrowish, because if some classes are cancelled due to low enrollment they’ll have to give my class to one of those profs. The dept. head told me it was 99%, but I would have preferred 100. UPDATE: I got the class (!!!), and it contains NINETY-THREE (93) STUDENTS. The other time I taught, it was only ten people. Excuse me, I need to go put on some more deodorant because I am heavily perspiring.
Either way, I think I’m going back into the PhD prog next Spring, so I’ll either be teaching or taking a chill job involving fries and if people would like cheese with that. I’m going to try and blog every day now, because it’s my version of leaving the house [which I refuse to do].
Finally, the utilities-meter-reading guy nearly gave me and my cat a fucking heart attack a second ago. Seeing a large shorts-with-boots-wearing man traipsing through my backyard makes me glad it’s not Naked Wednesday. [Just kidding, there is no Naked Wednesday. Not since my mom started abusing her privileges with the copy of my house key.]
I’m only teaching one class, an intro CS class that I’ve taught once before, but mainly: MY JOB HUNT IS OVER BEOTCHES. The money is enough, and I’ll be spewing my crazy twice a week in front of 83 people who are GOING TO BEGIN CARING ABOUT COMPUTER SCIENCE. Or else they will pay.
Class doesn’t start until 8/27. I’m so nervous that it’s making me gassy. Write more later, I have forms to fill out, beers to drink in celebration, and bbq’d hamburgers to eat. Oh yeah, they’re going to let me back into the PhD program in the Spring if I’d like! HMMMMMMMmmmmmm.
This hotel connection is pure shit. At least there is one, right? The internets are half full.
Watching Family Guy, drinking a Miller Lite and grossing out on my dog’s tourist-food-farts [she refuses to eat her dog food right now, so she gets half of my Huevos Rancheros from the restaurant next door]. There’s actually a “lobster mac n chee” at some steakhouse that I’m going to eat the shit out of on Wednesday night. I sound like such a d-bag.
