First things first, BREASTICLE ROLL CALL:
Check and check. Now I can go ingest the Korean. I had some hot sake too, it was like scalding for some reason, but still delicious.
What is grosser than the Ped Egg? (As [unfortunately] seen on tv.) SOMEBODY TELL ME.
“The Ped Egg collects all of the skin shavings in a convenient storage compartment.”
Oh. GROSS.
This reminds me of when I was a young Chipmunk Fart being babysat by this insane lady. While snooping through her house I discovered a large paper bag (remember those?) in one of her closets. I accidentally knocked it over, and ALL THESE TOENAIL CLIPPINGS SHE HAD BEEN SAVING fell out onto the floor. My GOD.
I’m watching “Reality Bites” for the second time in as many nights. Because I am OLD.
A chipmunk farts narcissistic sometimes and especially on Father’s Day. Ate 200-too-many scrimps tonight. I have barfed up a collage:
So I went to the lake yesterday. It was big and full of water.
I have shiny banana shoes. And a cupcake with my name on it from Stephy of XOXO Cupcakes:
Did you get a cupcake today and it had your name on it? I would make you one if I knew where you live, it’s not like I’m doing anything else. Seriously, I’m watching “Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love”, starring Deion Sanders riding around his house in a Rascal Handicap Scooter [which actually fucking rules, I want a RHS].
Whatever happened to the idea of online grocery shopping & delivery? Perhaps they have this in more affluent cities, although I never hear about it. Is there a major logistic problem I’m not thinking of?
I was watching the movie “Waiting” today [TERRIBLE, DON'T EVER] and there are one or two funny scenes. Make that one:
Filed under: Laura Linney's Breasts, Tony Hawk, me me me, oh fuck, tv, video games, working
-or- “This month-long sabbatical of mine is turning me crazy”
Hey guys, I LEFT THE HOUSE TODAY:
So I was supposed to find out (by using this time) what I wanted to do with my career, but as it turns out, I only want to watch tv and play video games and read trash all day on the internet. “Just kidding.”
But cereal, I think I’ll prob get another Master’s in either Int’l Policy, Economics or Social Work. Or Environmental Science & Engineering, which would go nicely w/the CS background and plus has a PhD prog I might go for. Either way, the deadline is July 1 (fuck fuck fuck).
I’m getting a-little-too-used-to the Crazy Lady routine. I’ve been sitting on the couch all day for weeks, taking naps AFTER BREAKFAST, and contemplating (= pricing) small pigs. For pet! Or confidante, student, teacher & friend. I eat bacon almost every morning, and I would prob have to knock that off ASAP. I just can’t see myself cooking it with the pig running around.
This series kicks fucking ass, here are two [the latest, "Chapter Fourty-Four: Bon Iver" is my favorite, but is not on youtube yet. You can use the google to find it.]:
[youbue=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKCraa-tdD4]
So toodles, McTwattersons…wonder what I’m going to do??? Time is running out. And money, that too. No one is paying me to sit on a mountain and think.
I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night lately. Instead of counting sheep or “Zen-ing out” n shit, I involuntarily replay every humiliating moment I’ve experienced since the sixth grade. I’m sure if I tried hard enough, I could go back even further.
Of note:
-The time in junior high I wore my new jeans with the sales tag still attached, and was notified of this by an asshole in front of several people
-The time in junior high I started my womanly bleedings in my jeans (unawares), and was notified of this by an asshole in front of several people
-The time I was doing a soliloquy in a play and everyone laughed, but it was supposed to be SERIOUS and not at all funny
-The time I demonstrated my negative IQ during a programming interview while at the whiteboard working IQ problems, and I could hear the interviewer making fun of me on the phone afterwards
OMG I must stop here. From now on I’ll just turn the tv on and watch infomercials. They always make me hungry, though. And I already have a Magic Bullet (it is amazing, but not quite as amazing as they would have you believe. I have never felt the need to prep my omelette in a blender).
You will be horrified to know that I have seen “Devil Wears Prada” at least 5 times in the past week alone. The ending [entire movie] is pretty sills but I am a chick, complete with chick parts, and am therefore hypnotized and powerless to this movie.
I went out last night and ate Mexican food, which has already appeared on my thighs.
After, I drank scotch rocks most of the night because I have turned into a dude. Or a 50-year-old divorced lawyer.
Ate Shineese this morning to cure my gnarls barkley of a hangover:
Also, did an hour of pilates yesterday after a decade of inactivity, and EVERYTHING HURTS.
