Remember that stupid-ass “Guess how many loads of laundry my fucking room has” contest I subjected you guys to? Well, commenter “Blacknapkin” (he has several other aliases, such as: Reverened Twatking, Lord and Lady Twatkin, etc. lol cause is he a fucking NUT and I just love him so much) — anyway, that was a hell of a bad sentence, so I’ll just say that “Black Napkin” won in an email submission.
He actually lives in UK, but I ordred the “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” dvd from amazon.co.uk and he and his family fucking loved it. Which makes me soooo happy, bc I’ve probably seen it about 50 times myself.
Anyway, here are pics here very kindly snapped of him receiving the movie in the mail. Contragulations my darling BlackNapkin!
For everyone else, I know I haven’t been blogging lately, or like fucking AT ALL, since school started. That’ll change, probably post again today. Teaching an actual programming class is harder than teaching a “Microsoft Word applications” class, but it’s actually really fun, dare I shat it maybe even rules? Cray, right.
This weekend, anyway.
I’M BACK.
I’m teaching a summer class, and it starts this week. Gotta finish takin’ care of bidness, then go to bed early so they won’t find out what a MONSTER I am lol. I’m actually a pretty cool teacher. IF I MAY SAY SO MYSELF, lolol.
Not complaining about that like some little shithead, just saying, I’m more hungover than your mom the day after you were conceived.
Also, my boss is pretty far up my asshole this weekend about getting the course website completely in order before classes start on Monday. So I’ll be working when I can.
Here’s a quickie pic of pug at the beach, more pics to come today. YOU CAN ACT FASCINATED NOW.
From menses, of course. Stringy ones provide a whip effect.
One really shouldn’t. It may cause one to make cunty-faced decisions.
Same goes for you males. Don’t think with someone else’s cunt. It’s a slippery slope.
Yeah, I’m about to drop an egg, can you tell? You’re lucky to not be around me, for those of you who don’t have to physically be around me 
. For the rest of you: sorries!
P.S. I’m going to the beach Fri-Sun, but I’ll be in my special “women’s” condition…..DO YOU THINK I WLL ATTRACT SHARKS?? I’m going to ‘pon it up, of course, but still….HA doesn’t want to get eaten this week. :(
hi do you think I need to clean this? Last year:
As of this morning:
(Yes, that’s a pink wig. Don’t even worry about it.)
Update — one for depth measure:
It looks like shit. How many loads of laundry do you think that is? I’m actually going to clean it, so whoever guesses the closest gets something from me in the mail (liquid, gas or mineral).
when JenEffect and I hang out…
I eat your queso. I eat it up!
There is some queso in me. I want no one else to have it. I hate most people.
We are fucking pigz.
And my FACE.
Remember when I almost cracked my skull on the hammock last September? I do, too. But bros, this time it wasn’t my fault, okay?:
Look at that shit. It can no longer support the 105 lbs. that is Halfassitude.
As we all know, I am a genius, so I’ll be shopping online for new hammocks today — while laying in the hammock. I just can’t quit you, thing that elevates me 3 feet off the air and sometimes hurts me. I hope this turns into a Tina Fey scar.
She is my idol. I would wife the shit out of her if I were gay.
Filed under: chillin today
Excuse this. Programming joke for the nerdz.
Should people who currently major in Women’s Studies be shot?
(JUST KIDDING, okay)
Did Matthew Broderick cheat on Sar Jess Park?
Cool:
Not Cool:
Will I ever take my Christmas Tree down? 5/7/2009: Still up.
Did I just commission someone to custom-make me these shoes? Should I be shot?
I want to buy her things, and cook for her, and laugh and cry with her, and sing Sweet Home Alabama with her, forever and ever, Amen.
Filed under: he-celebs
Come out please.
There’s my chippy.
If you want the password for the post right below this one, just email me at halfassitude@gmail.com and I’ll give it to you. I don’t care who you are, as long as you’re not my grandma. So even if you’re a stranger, feel free to ask for the password. I promise it will be anticlimactic.
Filed under: Jesus Christ, eating food, gross, mental, what a dick, working
Some fuckin’ people, am I right?
Anyway, GROSS ALERT I went to the doctor because apparently I have a stye. So I asked him if it was an eye tumor, because at virtually every doctor visit I inquire about something that I think is probably a tumor. He is of Indian descent, and a very good doctor, but when I asked if he was sure it was not a tumor, he was like “LOL, It’s nott a tuh-moh!” a la Arnold. Then I was like HAHHAAHA cause that one never gets old for me, and he was like 
.
Anyway twat sprinkles, what kind of plants/animals/children did you guyz have for breakfast/lunch? I had a sandwich and a xanax, because Monday Meetings can suck my dick.
Dear Tony: I have a few questions. My D.O.B. is 3-19-63. Have I lived before? Was I a wicked person in my past life? Is that why everything is upside down now? — Nina A.
Dear Nina: Yes and no. — Tony Leggett
HHAAHAHAHA. Give this man some more money. He is the best at psychic healing. Nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest.
When she does the whole, “Just sit back, and relax, and let us get you informed here, that’s our job, ok?”
I get a little warm inside.
Oh yeah, and titty slip:
1) Any form of WIN in the Passive-Aggressive Games of the Monday 330 meeting
2) Mother stopping by to get all in my kool-aid and fuck shit up [Currently In Progess]
3) Anything Balls-to-the-Wall
4) Stevie Nicks calling Lindsay Lohan’s kettle black? Luv Steve, but hasn’t she done enough cocaine to safely say that she has done a SHIT LOAD of cocaine?
